Until then, please kindly make alternate arrangements

May 2013

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Apparently, it’s been SEVEN months since I’ve last written here.

canada goose clearance I wish my prolonged sabbatical could be explained by an ambitious whirlwind of hedonistic activity. Then I could apologize profusely for my absence by giving you amusing little synopses of my daily and exciting life. canada goose clearance

Canada Goose Parka The fact is that the past seven months have been relatively busy, both in good and bad ways. I’m at a bit of a loss on how best to explain it all, so instead I’ll resort to the wise words of the immortal amphibian philosopher, Kermit the Frog: “Man, time’s really fun when you’re having flies.” Canada Goose Parka

Canada Goose Jackets Aside from quitting my job, starting a new business, moving in with The Girlfriend, and enjoying the canada goose outlet winnipeg fruits of our blended family, I’ve also been temporarily sidelined by some medical “inconveniences.” Without going into any detail, one of these has required me to take a mini convalescence. Canada Goose Jackets

Canada Goose Outlet The upside of this convalescence is that I’m under strict doctor’s orders to do very little except “read, canada goose outlet black friday write, walk, talk, shit, and sleep.” Canada Goose Outlet

Since I canada goose outlet edmonton got about an hour before the canada goose outlet los angeles Vicodin kicks in, I thought it might be the perfect time to revisit this site, no?It hasn’t been easy explaining to the three girls (ages five, eight, and nine) why I need some post surgery rest and relaxation. The Girlfriend and I sat them down patiently to quell any potential fears and explain the very foreign concepts of peace and quiet.

To ensure that everyone is on the same page regarding my recovery, I’ve compiled a list of rules that I plan canada goose outlet store uk on pinning to the refrigerator (which pretty much ensures that the only two people who are ever going to see this are me and our wonderful Ecuadorian nanny. Hi Olga!)

Canada Goose sale 1. Mr. Belvedere doesn’t work here anymore. I did just compare my role in the family to a middling 80’s sitcom character with an eponymously named tv show. But seriously, for just one short week, get yourselves into bed. Pick out your own clothes. Put the dirty ones in the hamper. Pack your own lunch. And forget to feed the cat. You guys remember the cat, don’t you? The little furry creature you absolutely adored for two weeks and then started treating like an unwanted Furby you got three Christmases ago? Canada Goose sale

canada goose store 2. Watch the Throne. I know there’s five of us and we only have one bathroom. It’s tough even under normal circumstances. This week? I don’t care if you’ve crapped your Hello Kitty underwear five times or have to pee so badly, you’re going to get kidney stones. If I want 45 minutes of uninterrupted canada goose outlet black friday sale bathroom time to shit, shower, shave and read the past three issues canada goose outlet orlando of the New Yorker, it’s mine. No barging in. No banging on the door. No wiggling your fingers under the door and yelling, “Hey dude, whatcha doing?” I’m hiding from all of you. That’s what I’m doing. canada goose store

canada goose deals 3. The answer is “No.” we’re not watching The Disney Channel. No, I’m not making each of you a separate dinner. No, I can’t carry all of you into the bedroom. And no, I can’t change that light bulb in the hallway. Normal services will resume in a week. Until then, please kindly make alternate arrangements. canada goose deals

cheap Canada Goose 4. Finders, canada goose uk Keepers. explanations will be canada goose jacket outlet sale provided when you sadly discover that your favorite ice cream/wine/chocolate/nuts/cake has magically disappeared. And for the record, yes, I into canada goose vest outlet your bedroom and eat cheap canada goose all the candy that Grandma gave you last week, which you had so cleverly stashed in your pillowcase. About that wineVicodins are very large pils. In order to canada goose outlet uk sale swallow them cleanly, Daddy is going to need a little wine, sometimes a lot. Unsolicited references to Heath Ledger will not be necessary. Thank canada goose outlet toronto location you in advance. cheap Canada Goose

buy canada goose jacket canada goose outlet store near me 6. canada goose clothing uk Sexy timeThe Doctor specifically mentioned that sexual activity is to resume as quickly as possible. See, he even wrote it down here on this prescription pad. I might not be able to do any of the heavy lifting, baby, but I am willing to experiment and see how quickly it takes to restore one’s serotonin to pre surgical levels. The middle one eats like a sumo wrestler, causing us to take out a second mortgage to fulfill her plethoric protein requirements. And the third seems to subsist solely on white pasta, milk, and rice. It’s like one is on Weight Watchers; one is on Atkins, and the third is on the South Beach diet. buy canada goose jacket

canada goose clearance sale In all seriousness, we’re more than a little concerned about the oldest girl. We not sure whether she going https://www.canadagoosepark.com through a prolonged stage of being a picky eater or slowly developing an unhealthy relationship with food. Her ambivalence about eating causes us a lot of consternation, to the point that she going to go see a nutritionist. Have any of you been in a similar situation? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. in my day, if I didn’t eat anything on the dinner table, my parents would subject me to an hour long lecture about how my Korean father was raised solely on tree bark, rotten kimchi, and pebble soup. If any of our dead relatives could see us refusing even a plate of beets, they’d canada goose outlet uk spit on us from the high heavens. When guilt didn work, the threat of a spanking usually did the trick. canada goose clearance sale

Canada Goose online Shit, I flinch any time I see a canada goose outlet store montreal plate of beets. Canada Goose online

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canada goose coats “I’m not fat by Texas standards. I’m just fat by New York standards. When I go to Houston, it’s like I’m anorexic. Out of life long loyalty and a sense of devotion, I will continue to root for them. However, I like to inform current team management canada goose outlet paypal that these canada goose outlet reviews games are being watched under protest. canada goose coats

canada goose In a side note, I was in Washington Square Park yesterday, watching a father toss a baseball with his very young son. At one point, the ball slipped through the boy’s hands and nailed him squarely in the face, resulting in an immediate bloody nose. The boy quickly dropped his glove, started sobbing uncontrollably canada goose outlet toronto address and ran straight to his father for consolation. canada goose

I really wish the next NY Met player to get beaned with a baseball would charge the mound in a similar fashion, crying and holding his arms out for a hug. It would make the games eminently more watchable.

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